Lesson 3
A third lesson learned is what to praise: talent or effort. In her book, Tracing the Thread, Christy Rood talks about multiple studies showing kids who are praised for their natural ability consistently performing at a lower level than those who are praised for their effort.
Rood writes, “Not only did they perform lower, they felt worse when they failed, and they made excuses or tried to hide their failure. When praised for effort, however, children were not only more apt to try harder the next time, they actually outperformed those praised for ability.”
She goes on to explain that adults do not “realize how deeply imbedded the wrong type of praise sinks into a child’s psyche.”[1]
I made the mistake of focusing too much on the most talented swimmers early in my coaching career. Fortunately, my mentor caught what I was doing and corrected me, teaching me to focus on all my swimmers, and not just the fastest. He pointed out the best way to correct a swimmer was through positive reinforcement of their efforts. I soon discovered when I did this that not only did I see greater success with more swimmers, the atmosphere in my workout groups also improved dramatically.
There are a couple of important truths in young athletes that I believe can translate to many areas of life. First, those who are fastest at 10 are fast mostly because of natural ability. Second, those who are fastest at 13 and older are fast mostly because of effort. True, the elite teenage athletes possess natural ability, but they reached the elite level primarily because of their effort. Once I understood these truths, it dramatically affected my approach not only to coaching, but to parenting as well. I became a better parent to my three kids by applying this approach of praising effort over natural ability.
Interestingly, other coaches on my team with whom I’ve spoken about this all agree: we’d rather coach the positive, consistent hard workers now matter their speed than to coach a prima donna who skates by on their talent.
Lesson 4
The final lesson I have to share is being open-minded. My way might not be the best way.
By the time I returned to coaching, rules had evolved. Techniques had advanced. I was behind the times and needed to listen carefully to other coaches who were much younger than me. That required swallowing my ego. Twenty years ago, I couldn’t have done it.
One of the best parts of growing old(er) is understanding how little I know. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “The older I get the less I know.” Well, it’s true! Life experience has taught me none of us really know very much and those who act like they do come across as arrogant. The ability to accept both new education as well as wisdom regardless of the source is a talent well worth the effort to develop. For most of us, humility does not come easy. However, I’ve been taught new things and learned new wisdoms by not just my fellow coaches (all of whom are 15-35 years younger), but by my swimmers as well (who average 11 years old)! If you want to learn about being open-minded—or simply need to be humbled—listen to the wisdom of an 11-year-old! You will be surprised!
[1] Rood, Christy. Tracing the Thread. Austin, TX, GCD Books, 2020.
Comments